Sathya

The little one in the picture is Satyajith , your friend. We meet Sathya at least once a week. You love Sathya so much. He loves you very much too. If you don't meet each other at least once a week , I and his mom will be in trouble because you both will pester us. Once Sathya came , we went to receive his mom and Sathya in bus stop. As the bus approached , I told you that Sathya is coming in that bus. You were screaming in joy. Everyone was looking at you. As Sathya came out , you both were walking towards each other , and embraced each other in a warm hug. It was so beautiful , so natural , that moment will always be etched in my mind. Everyone there was smiling and looking at both of you. Sathya is one month elder than you. If you both fight , it will be horrible , too. Most probably , the fight is to take possession of a toy car or a ball. I am so happy you have a friend to play. When I see you both together , I feel as if I am seeing my twins :)

❤
Amma

Lots to write. Need to register many things. I must.

Love ❤

Below you have a copy of the letter Einstein wrote to his daughter Lieserl:

“Not many people understood me when I first came up with the theory of relativity. In this letter I will reveal something to you that you must transmit to all mankind. Beware, the message in this letter will collide with the popular prejudice and misunderstandings of our time.

I must ask of you to guard these letters and their message as long as you deem necessary. Years or even decades until you see society is ready to listen and accept what I am about to share with you. There is a force so extremely power, that science has still not found a way to explain it.

It is a power that engulfs and governs all other powers. I believe it is also in charge of all phenomena in the Universe, many of which we have not seen or explained yet. This universal force is LOVE.

cientists have not considered love in their efforts to present a unified theory of the Universe. They’ve neglected it even though it is the most powerful invisible force out there. Love represents Light, for it enlightens those who give it and receive it. It is gravity, because it makes people attracted to one another.

Love is power that brings out and multiplies the best of all life. Love keeps humanity from annihilating itself in its blind narrow mindedness and selfishness. We live and die for it. Love is God, and God is Love.

Through this force we can explain everything and find meaning in our lives. We have ignored love for such a long time, perhaps because we are afraid of it. Perhaps we ignore it because we cannot control it and quantify it. Explain it with our numbers and reason.

I believe I have found a way to make love more visible, and it is through my famous formula E = MC².

If instead of this equation, we accept that the energy for universal healing can be obtained through love multiplied by the speed of light squared, we come at the conclusion that love is limitless, therefore it is truly the most powerful force in the Universe.

Humanity has failed in its efforts to control the forces of the Universe, which have turned against us. In light of that, it is urgent that we heal and immerse ourselves in a different kind of energy…

For the purpose of our survival, and in our quest to find meaning to our existence we must ensure the survival of every living soul on Earth by turning to love. It is the only true answer and solution.

This force cannot be used through building a bomb of love, and use it to destroy all hate, greed and selfishness of our time. But never forget, each person has in them, a core made up of immense energy and love just waiting to be shared with the world.

When we learn to grow and master this force within ourselves, my dear Lieserl, we will realize the full power of love, and its ability to conquer all, transcend everything and anything, for it is the very essence of our existence.

I am forever sorry for not fully expressing the love I’ve always had for you in my heart. I realize I might be late with this apology, but please know I love you and it is thanks to you that I have reached the ultimate answer in life.”

Your father, 

Albert Einstein.

Anisha , the letter which Einstein wrote to his daughter is true word by word. I wish there comes a time in your life where you feel the full force of love - a love which shows a new , beautiful person who resides within you. A love which makes you feel strong and limitless. A love which brings out the best in you. A love which puts a beautiful smile in your face , always. A love which is not the expression of want and need but of love itself. Experiencing such a love will also show you who God is ! You must also read what I wrote about who God is : http://myselfishgenes.blogspot.de/2013/04/god-infertility-and-ivf_5.html?m=1

I was not aware of Einstein's letter to his daughter when I wrote this :) I wrote this when I was drenched in love ❤ 

Amma

Thankful is the word !

Thankful - that's the word I would use to describe this picture !

Bitten Apple

Your dad , pointing to the apple symbol on iPad , what is this Anisha ?

You : Apple

After few seconds , you said , " it's an apple which is eaten a little " ( you said it in Tamil : " Koncham sapta apple " )

At 28 months , you could observe clearly , think and express it clearly. I am amazed , Anisha.

Hearing 4 different languages , talking 2 already , is no easy task.

You are going to go places , provided we channel your talents the proper way. Will I be able to do that ?

Amma

Selfie time :)

Don't we look alike ;) I wish I were much younger , so that when you reach teen age you might have had a younger mom who would look like your sister. Now , I would look a lot older for sure :(  When you are 16 , I will be 53 years old. Menopause would set in , hormones will dip , I might put on lots of weight , my skin would shrivel , my knees would hurt :) But Anisha , I would love you the same ❤ I wish I could live longer , and this thought hits me the first time in 40 years :)

Amma

How time flies by !

Oh , you look so beautiful , Anisha ! I grew you within me - in my uterus and in my heart ❤ This picture was taken when you were around 6-7 months old. You are so grown up now ! Stay happy and blessed , my dear daughter. Love you so much !

You were fine

After two hours I went to pick you up and you were playing. It was a sunny day , so all the children were in an open ground. I searched you among those bundles of joy. You were there , near your caretaker. You were showing something to her and saying something. My heart was content , I felt relieved. After few minutes that lady saw me , lifted you up and came towards me. You saw me , jumped down from her hands and said a big ' Hi '. Then you came running towards me. Oh , what a joy it was to hug you and kiss you ! Separation makes love even beautiful ❤ , provided if we know that we will get back together. I asked you whether we can go home. You said ' yes ' immediately. That's very unlike of you. I have to manage a screaming child everyday before I could bring her back home. But after two hours of separation , you were done for that day. I talked to you all the way back home. We went to the bakery , brought a strawberry cake ( your favorite ) and went back home. You didn't eat anything in KG , so you happily had few bites of cake.

The next day also I left you and came immediately. You cried when I left. I didn't cry. I came home finished all my work and went to pick you up. You were playing and came home happily after seeing me. I was informed that you didn't cry much ; you didn't eat ; but you were playing happily. You said ' Tschüss ' to everyone happily and we came home. Hopefully , you stop crying very soon.

On Saturday , as soon as you got up , you picked up your shoes. You were insisting that I help you wear it. I was wondering what you were up-to ! You then asked me to give your winter jacket and cap. I asked  whether you want to go to KG. Your answer is ' yes '. I tried to explain you that it was a holiday. You were not content by my explanation , you were insisting that we go and was crying :) So , you love going there. That's a nice start , isn't it ?

I asked my mom about my KG days. She said , she doesn't remember me crying. She said , " you love meeting new people , no wonder you weren't crying ". But , I remember the day I went to 1 st std very clearly. My dad get transferred every 2 - 3 years. When I was about to start 1st std , we were in Tanjore. My mum came with me , joined me in school , took me to my classroom and left me there. It was a Christian Missionary run educational institution. It was spick- and-span. I would say , that school laid the foundation for who I am today , intellectually ( only two years of my education was from there ! ) The school was spread in several acres , they had a beautiful church and even a small zoo which contained rabbits and so on. I get very angry when I see nowadays schools which are run solely for profit - I don't understand how a building built in a meager space could be called as school ! The school I am talking about is called ' Auxillium Nursery School '. So , on the first day , my mom left me in the classroom and was leaving. I was scared for some reason. I got from my chair and ran behind her screaming. The teacher came out , knelt in front of me , and asked me , " Are you scared ? Do I scare you ? Are you scared of the scars on my face ? " I was dumbfounded. I observed her face for the first time. Her face is full of scars caused by small pox , I guess it must have been so severe , her face was filled with scars every inch of her face. I don't remember her face now but I remember the scars very clearly. They were so close to each other as if someone has carved small pits all over the face. I stopped crying immediately , I never cried thereafter. I felt her pain , I really felt it. Otherwise , I wouldn't have remembered that incident at all. I don't remember anything about her after this incident. I don't remember her way of teaching , nothing I remember about her. But I clearly remember trying to be extra nice to her always. Empathy is perhaps an inbuilt trait , a trait which is engraved in our genes !

Another person I remember from that school is Vedhavalli miss. She attracted me very much. She is kind , non - partial , treated every child well , always had a smiling face. She is thin , tall , black and had a beautiful face , mostly her face beauty is because of her personality. She was different , somehow very different from other teachers. She was our second standard class teacher. She was with us during play hours too. One day , we were all playing outside. She was asking us to stand in line. We were all trying to arrange ourselves. There was a boy in our class , he appeared bigger than all of us. That's what I remember about him. He suddenly went and kissed a girl. When we saw that we were all giggling. That was the age where we don't know much about physical display of affection , especially from someone other than parents. But we clearly know what he did is something out of the norm. I remember children complaining loudly to Vedhavalli miss about the incident. The boy was all embarrassed. I was eagerly watching what our miss is going to say. She looked at all of us and said we shouldn't laugh at him. She said , he liked the girl and so he showed his affection by kissing , that's not something wrong. I loved the way she said it. We are little children. She didn't try to avoid saying anything about the incident. That would be the way most teachers would have handled the situation. She said something very bold , very nice , very beautiful. I felt so even at that age. I loved and respected her for who she was. Do you know something ? After 30 plus years , I got in touch with her  via Whatsapp ( my friend gave her phone number ). I wanted to tell her this incident. She is retired now. I introduced myself. I don't think she remembered me. But she said she remembers me , that's very nice of her. But I couldn't talk to her much in Whatsapp. I could call her , but something is preventing me from doing so :) I don't know why , but I guess it has to do something about retaining the old memories - I don't want to loose the Vedhavalli miss I knew.

I have said a lot :) There are many school day memories - both good and bad ones. We will talk later.

❤
Amma