Three years ago !

Love you, Anisha !

Being 40 has instilled new fears within me. I just want to be with you as long as possible. But, in case, if I am not with you......

A little about you :) You are 3 and half !

Yesterday,  I had headache and fever

Anisha : Amma , hast Du avva ( pain ) ?

Me: Hmmm

Anisha: komm zu mir (come to me)

Me: I will (went to her)

Anisha: hier liegen ( pointing to her lap, lie down here)

Was so happy that she speaks German and could show empathy. I must be thankful for the kindergarten system here and the well-trained teachers there. No studies,  they learn everything by playing , eating and working together. 

Anisha's first haircut:

Her eyes were filled with fear and the water is on the brink of her eye. Yet , she tried hard to be brave. The hair stylist understood her fear ; in order to ease her, was talking to her:

She asked : Who are your friends?

I was expecting her to say some of her friends name.

Anisha : Meine Mama und Papa

My heart did melt !

Every mom is proud and crazy of their kids, and so am I :D

Hiiiii

Dear Anisha kutty,

Haven't written to you for so long ! Actually, that's really bad because I have missed documenting so much. Nevertheless, here I am again , writing to you. You are 3 years, 3 months old. You speak Tamil, Telugu, English and German. Great , right ? You have grown into an adorable kid. We fight a lot nowadays, because you are as adamant as a three year old could be. You are going to kindergarten for 2 months now , you enjoy going there, love your teachers and friends. You come back home and practice talking German as much as you can. Like every other mom I am so proud of you ! And , I am working again , loving my job :) Nothing much to say. I forgot something, you are still breastfeeding; you love me to bits and pieces. What else does a mom need ? :)

Love you so much ,

Amma

I danced !

Yes , I did. I can't be proud enough. All credits goes to my friend , Zeena ! She was the one who said , "Manju , we will do a simple dance for onam !" I was like , " Who , me !!!" But, she encouraged me, I went for the practice without much faith. But , I did pretty well. Other women in the group said , I did well too. So at the age of 39, I danced for the first time. My weight loss has helped immensely too. I was full of energy :)

I danced a long time back , exactly when I was studying fifth standard. I was 11 years then. I remember each and every details of it , the reason is .... read on , you will understand.

Teachers arranged a dance program for the school day. They selected bunch of girls, and a boy,  to perform the dance. I was in the center , and a handsome boy was my pair. Let me admit , I had a crush on him. Eleven years old might be too young to develop a crush for some , but not for intellectuals like us  I remember admiring his looks - very fair , curly hair ! He is our headmaster's grandson - they were Muslim's ! So, one fine day, we started the practice. I can't be more happy , right ? But as the practice progressed , the teachers realized that I was not so good in dancing.  Some girl from the side dancers performed better than me ! Then everything became topsy-turvy ! Teachers wanted that girl to be in the center ( obviously !)  and I was pushed  to the side. I was heartbroken. Can you imagine my plight ? I was no more the heroine , I was humiliated in front of my crush. And even worse , some other girl took my place,  and the privilege of dancing with my crush too . To make matters even worse , I already prepared the dress which was needed to perform as the center figure. It was different from the one's from the side dancers. Mine was a bright orange color with extra shiny decorations while other's dresses were a dull pink. The totally heartless teachers took my dress too and gave it to the girl who will dance in the center. Now , not only my crush , my dress is gone too. Can you feel my sadness ? I had to agree to everything , there is no other way. School day came , we danced , I couldn't bear seeing the girl wearing my dress - my beautiful dress , and dancing with my crush ! At that age , losing my beautiful dress affected me more than losing the chance to dance with my crush. Immediately after the dance was over , I went to the girl , looked straight into her eyes and said , " give me my dress , NOW !" I remember my mom looking at me strangely because that's so unlike me  I wore that dress , oh , how happy did I feel ! With that dress on , I went and received my medals for academic achievements from the chief guest. Thank God , that girl didn't get that privilege too !  That's a great flash back , right ? 

After that bitter experience , I avoided any dance programme. Why to humiliate myself ?! And after 29 years I danced again 

It's not my imagination , it's all real and it happened. I am happy that I got an opportunity to share this with you.

Anisha , I want that you know this : Never worry about other's opinion about you. If you like something do it. Doesn't matter who says what ! Never allow other's opinions to control you , especially, the negative ones. Once you loose the fear of public opinion and set your eyes only on your interests and passion , you will conquer anything. I am sure you will !

❤
Amma

Watching "Masha and the bear" !

It's 11:30 PM here. We both are watching "Masha and the bear". You slept well in the afternoon , and now you are not sleepy. Anisha , you wouldn't understand how much pleasure it is for me to watch a  cartoon with you - we both are laughing so loud , your dad has to warn us ( hehe 😜). Thank you for giving me a taste of childhood again ! Love you 😘❤
Amma

Our little princess !

Not so little anymore :) Only two years and six months , but it feels as if I am with you forever ❤