He breathed his last on 19.11.2015, he is 90 years old. He had a long life, had 5 children, his wife passed away several years ago - when she was 58 years old. Two of his children were no more - my dad, his son, left this world 8 years ago - exactly when he was 58 years old , just like his mom ! Surprisingly, my dad's sister breathed her last around 58 years, too. I guess they shared majority of their mom's genes and perhaps there is an inherent longevity clock ticking in their genes. I share majority of my dad's genes, too - I am very similar to him in character and our health problems ( metabolic syndrome ! ) are similar too ! :) Death happens - sooner or later !
This year, I got to hear the news of two old men's demise in our family - one is my uncle ( my mom's sister's husband ) and the other, my granddad. Both of them are very old. Although, their demise didn't come as a shock, it did create a pang of sadness within me. The news of near one's death ( even if they are very old , or not so close emotionally ) always brings about an uncomfortable sensation - perhaps that's the moment I think about my own mortality , or even worse , my dear one's mortality ! Previous year , when I met them both I felt sorry for them. I found them getting weaker day by day and waiting for their death , fearfully ! Yes , fearfully. And sometimes , I guess , they wished they were no more. Old age is cruel , it cripples people. People find themselves in a boring routine , and many find that they have nothing more to do than to wait for their 'D-day' ! People who enjoy good health even when they are older are gifted ones !
We all are getting closer to death every passing second - that's the universal truth. When someone understands and accepts their own mortality and embraces it fearlessly, old age becomes much of a gentler, happier experience rather than a horror. That's why, as people get older, it is considered wise to spend much time in embracing spirituality ( not necessarily religious ), and try to keep their desires at bay . But nowadays, life is viewed merely as a source of pleasure and enjoyment ( there are much more physical comforts too than there were few decades ago ) As a result , I find people extremely scared of death. They cling on to their dear life. They are more scared to part with their money and the enjoyment it brings , rather than parting with their dear ones ! My uncle , who passed away recently told me when I met him previous year, " your dad left too early without enjoying the enormous retirement pension ! " That left me with a smile - enjoyment is a very personal experience, not everyone finds joy in material things , at least my dad didn't ! I wanted to tell him this but decided not to.
Death - most people are afraid of it and none escapes it ! Anisha, by the time you read this post , you might have acquired some idea about death. Today , I was talking to my little sister. I asked her how my nephews aged 6 and 4 are taking their great granddad's demise. I was curious whether they asked her something about his absence. She replied , the elder one didn't talk much about it and was busy playing ; the younger one was telling everyone that his great grandfather died. My sister continued , "I corrected him" , she said. "I told him that , he must say grandpa went to God and shouldn't say he died. " For a moment I was astonished. My sister is a MD Gynecologist , a doctor ! And she felt the need to correct her son who was telling a honest truth. Even more , she is instilling her beliefs ( does she believe so ! ) in him. I told her that my nephew was correct and shouldn't have been "corrected" !
People are very uncomfortable even with the word 'death'. Actually , death is as beautiful as life. Death is not the opposite of life , it is a part of life without which life becomes valueless and painful. Death is not only the end of life , it is also the end of all sufferings ! Death is peaceful , serene - just like a long , deep , peaceful sleep. According to me , the most serene places are not the places of worship. Nowadays , majority of God's tabernacles has become mere business centers ! Once I went to a cemetery here in Germany. The entire place was so beautiful and serene. People who came there carried only love and good memories of the deceased - I am very sure about it , their face showed it all. There is no place for hatred or ego in a graveyard. There is no difference between people based on caste , creed , religion or the amount of wealth they posses. Cemetery is also a place which reminds everyone of their own mortality and hence it brings a sense of humility as you step in. We are reminded how fragile our lives are ! The more we get to realize how unpredictable and fragile our lives are , the more we tend to value the right things in our life - people, love , happiness , peace , humility , present moment etc., rather than spending our precious life hating , fighting , being proud , egoistic and materialistic. I wish people visit cemeteries more often just like they visit temples. Graveyard is a great place to kindle the spirituality which is inherent in our souls. It is also a great place to introduce the concept of death to children - this will help curbing their fear about dying and death. It will also teach children the utmost wisdom of life - " this too shall pass ! "
You might have many questions now : what happens after death ? Where will we go ? Is there a heaven and hell ? Do we go to God ? Do we come back again to this earth ? Is there a life again , is there a life after death ? What happens to my loved ones after they die ? Will they be able to see me ? Will I get to meet them again ?
I am not going to answer any of these questions because there are no correct answers for it - not with anyone ! Or put it like this , not a single answer fits everyone's maturity and understanding. It does not take much time for me to answer these questions from my level of maturity and understanding. But , it doesn't really help you. I don't believe in teaching you what I believe in. I can teach you scientific facts but not beliefs. You don't have to believe in what I do - be it good or bad. You have to find your own answers , I am sure you will. My daughter will be intelligent enough to do so. If I need to tell you something , this is it - find an answer which satisfies not only your brain but your heart and soul too. That will be the only right answer for YOU , yes , for only you !
Anisha , death is as beautiful as life. We all have the privilege of dying because we had the privilege to be born in the first place. No one can escape death , but , there is a way to live even after someone dies. Do you know how ? You can immortalize yourself by living life in the best way possible.
The only sure - fire way of continuing life even after death is to make the best use of your knowledge and share the fruits of it with this world. If you can use your knowledge for uplifting humanity and this world , then you will for sure to continue to live. Nothing else has the power to make you immortal.
In case if you are afraid of death , don't be. If you live well , death really doesn't matter. No one knows their expiry date. It can come sooner or later. So make sure to live every moment. Appreciate the goodness of life , be thankful for every day you are given. If you are afraid of losing your loved ones , remember this - loss of loved ones is not much painful than losing their love. You cannot stop their death but you can prevent losing their love - so value and love the people in your life - you never know whether you will have them the next moment ! Even if they are gone , if their love remains with you , you will heal. Also make sure to remain detached as much as you are attached. Remember that nothing is permanent , everything will pass. Too much dependency on someone can leave you paralyzed if they are gone , so learn to beindependent.
Anisha , as a mother , I wish that you live happily forever. But the real best wish would be - " May you have a long life filled with happiness and good health. May you have the strength to face adversities with a strong mind and body , and overcome it in the best possible way. May never feel alone and neglected. May you be surrounded with lots of love and peace."
Love you kuttima , love you so much ! Thanks a ton for your presence ! Thanks for bringing out the mother in me - it feels good !
Tomorrow , we are leaving to India. I am sure the trip will be very exciting for you. Everyone are so eager to meet you. You will be drenched with so much love and affection. Enjoy the beautiful moments.
Amma
