Dear Anisha,
As I type this letter, you are 2 months and 20 days old. I have given you a nice bath with oil massage. You are wearing a white dress and sleeping peacefully. You look so beautiful, cherubic and I am deeply in love with you.
I don't know what I am going to write in this blog. But I want to write to you (anything, everything!) I express myself better when I write than when I talk. You will understand me better by reading this than listening to me.
My dad, your grandad, wrote me a letter when I came to Germany for pursuing PhD degree. He said in that letter that he wants to write letters to me like the then prime minister of India Mr. Jawaharlal Nehru wrote to his daughter Indira Gandhi (The letters were published as a book). At that time, I was in love with your dad. At the age of 25 years it felt good to spend time with my boy friend than to write to my old father. I never managed to write to him and his wish of exchanging letters with his daughter never got fulfilled. Oh boy, how guilty I feel now ! Will I be able to quench my guilt by writing to you ?
I am a mother now. I fought for 7 years to get this mother title officially. When I was carrying you, I was very paranoid, fighting so many unreasonable fears. I used to express them to my Dr and he suggested that I write what I feel as letters to you. He believed that it will help to calm my mind. But, I couldn't do that. Whenever I tried writing to you I ended up with tears. I was afraid that if I get so emotional I might harm you. So I dropped the idea of writing to you when you were in my womb.
Now, you are here, very healthy and happy. When I see you my daughter, my heart just melts like a chocolate and becomes gooey, gooey. All I feel for you is pure, unconditional love. Unconditional love is too powerful, magical and soul-purifying. I believe it will help me to craft the most beautiful letters - love letters, of my lifetime !
These letters will be a memoir of you, memoir of me, memoir of us ! I promise that I will be honest as much as I can.
As I type this letter, you are 2 months and 20 days old. I have given you a nice bath with oil massage. You are wearing a white dress and sleeping peacefully. You look so beautiful, cherubic and I am deeply in love with you.
I don't know what I am going to write in this blog. But I want to write to you (anything, everything!) I express myself better when I write than when I talk. You will understand me better by reading this than listening to me.
My dad, your grandad, wrote me a letter when I came to Germany for pursuing PhD degree. He said in that letter that he wants to write letters to me like the then prime minister of India Mr. Jawaharlal Nehru wrote to his daughter Indira Gandhi (The letters were published as a book). At that time, I was in love with your dad. At the age of 25 years it felt good to spend time with my boy friend than to write to my old father. I never managed to write to him and his wish of exchanging letters with his daughter never got fulfilled. Oh boy, how guilty I feel now ! Will I be able to quench my guilt by writing to you ?
I am a mother now. I fought for 7 years to get this mother title officially. When I was carrying you, I was very paranoid, fighting so many unreasonable fears. I used to express them to my Dr and he suggested that I write what I feel as letters to you. He believed that it will help to calm my mind. But, I couldn't do that. Whenever I tried writing to you I ended up with tears. I was afraid that if I get so emotional I might harm you. So I dropped the idea of writing to you when you were in my womb.
Now, you are here, very healthy and happy. When I see you my daughter, my heart just melts like a chocolate and becomes gooey, gooey. All I feel for you is pure, unconditional love. Unconditional love is too powerful, magical and soul-purifying. I believe it will help me to craft the most beautiful letters - love letters, of my lifetime !
These letters will be a memoir of you, memoir of me, memoir of us ! I promise that I will be honest as much as I can.
With love,
Amma
Beautiful Thought. Please do write for the little doll.. all your sweet thoughts for her. Gift it to her for her 18th Birthday. God Bless you Anisha.
ReplyDeletelove,
Kipi