Your first hug !

Dear Anisha ,

On May 5 th , we went to our friend's place. That day evening we took you to a children's park , situated nearby. I saw a playground slide there. I was wondering whether you would love to slide. " Aren't you too young for it ? " was the question in my mind. At that moment , I saw a chubby little man , he is almost your height , might be a cm or two more. He climbed the slide and was enjoying his ride in it. On seeing it , I got the courage to take you there. I helped you climb up. On the top , where children were waiting for their turn , we waited , too. The little man was so attractive , I was looking at him ; I was curious to know his age as he was using the slide alone. His mom was standing there , and I asked for his age. She replied that he will be two in July. Suddenly , the handsome little man turned towards you , took few steps in the front , extended both his arms and embraced you. That was a very warm hug. I was astonished to see his gesture. Unfortunately , I couldn't observe your expression. It all happened in a fraction of a second. I was facing your back. He was smiling so warmly and descended down the slide.

I always thought a hug is a very beautiful way of telling ' you care '. In India , even handshakes are rare , especially in the place where I grew up. And , any kind of friendly gesture which involves body contact between opposite sex is not entertained , or I should say , it is prohibited. I always thought that it's normal because I grew up in such a society. But after coming to Germany , I did receive hugs more often , especially from my Muslim female friends. In the beginning , when they gave a hug , I felt so stupid because I didn't know how to accept it gracefully and return it back. At those times , a hug only created a moment of discomfort and awkwardness for me as I was not used to it. Slowly ( the more I received ) , my ability to receive and give hugs got better. And , I started enjoying the warmth and comfort it gave. A warm hug can provide the comfort what many words can't give. After realizing this , I got more comfortable with the concept of hugging. 

There is a female gynecologist in Giessen. She was the one who did all my ultrasounds with twins. She knew all my troubles to conceive and was overjoyed about my pregnancy. Sadly , the day I lost my twins , at 20W , she was on duty that fateful night. She delivered my twins. I , at the peak of my grief , spoke many things - I needed comfort. She patiently listened to me. And , when I conceived you , I went to see her. She was so happy , and she was pregnant with her first baby at that time. She asked me , " Manju , can I give you a hug ? " That's the most unforgettable hug in my life - a hug filled with love , care and happiness.

The other person whose hug I will always remember is that of Sascha. He is my colleague when doing PhD - he talks non - stop. He loved talking about his step -
sister and brother , and I was always amazed by the amount of affection he carried for them. After completing my PhD , whenever I see him , he used to step forward , give a broad smile and a warm hug. It makes it very easier to talk to him after that - I have never felt awkward about starting a conversation even after not being in touch with him for years.  I think , only by his gesture , I got comfortable with a man's hug :) I don't know how much you will understand me if you grow up in Germany , but for a woman like me who spent majority of her life in a very conservative society - in a society where any type of gesture which involves body contact between a man and woman is viewed as unacceptable , it's a great step forward :)

Giving a beautiful , soulful hug is an art - it can give immense comfort and melt a receivers heart. It gives the same happiness to the giver , too. It makes the conversation which follows much easier , much honest.

I am sure I have helped my friends feel better and comfortable with a hug when they needed one the most. And , there are people I wish I could give a hug , but couldn't :) I wish , you too would enjoy the joy of such simple , beautiful human gestures - and most importantly I wish you could grow up not having a tainted picture of all male and female physical contacts.

Love ,
Amma