Anisha , I am married to your dad for 9 years , we are together for 12 years. What should I say - I am blessed to be with a life partner who is so kind , compassionate , understanding and forgiving. He allows me to be a human being rather than expecting me to be a flawless , obedient , meek and self - sacrificing woman.
When we were newly married , he held my dad's hand and said , " Do not worry , I will take care of Manju well ". My dad smiled and said , " Rajender , my worry is not about that. I am wondering whether she will take care of you well ". Who can understand me better than my dad ! Your dad has kept his word until now.
When I was pregnant with twins , he took care of me more than my mom would. I remember the idlis he used to prepare for me - they were made with so much love for three people whom he loves so much. The day we lost our children , I saw his pain. I was more worried and heart - broken on seeing your dad's pain than the loss of my children. When you were born , and when we were waiting for the photo shoot on the second day of your birth , in a hospital room , he said , " Manju , that night after the birth of our children they took you to operation theater for D&C , I was waiting in this room . I saw all the little one's picture in this room. I couldn't stop crying , there was no one with me ". Even when I think of that situation now , a chill runs in my spine. Anisha , you are your dad's gift - might be God or whosoever saw his pain on that day and gave you to him :)
Until now , all the people who know me , or even people who don't know me very personally has told me that I am very gifted to have such a life partner - and I can't deny it. My dad told me , " Manju , I saw his picture sent by you and I knew immediately you were in safe hands ".
I am thankful that I have your dad in my life. He might be able to lead life without me , but without him my life would be nothing. I am so dependent on him for everything - he has pampered me so much like a mother !
Anisha , you love me because you need me. In your case , the need will slowly turn into love as you grow , as you mature , hopefully ! But , I need you because I love you. I care for you because I love you. The more you care for a person , the more you got to love them.
Sometimes I wonder whether I love your dad or need him. As we grow together , the distinction between love and need becomes smaller and smaller. Perhaps , I love him because I need him , and I need him because I love him.
After fighting infertility together , our bond has become much more stronger. There are people who tell me , " That's great that you people stayed together after all that you both went through !" Only my reproductive system is defective , not his ! Not even a day he has made me feel I am the defective person. I never ever had a fear that he would leave me for that. When I started to love him , I intuitively knew he was the guy whom I could feel safe and secure. My intuition has never failed me , until now.
I wish I could stay under his love and warmth always - until my last breath ! Because it is the only safest place on earth for me. Yes , I am very selfish of course :)
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